To "The Group":

I felt so at home, so comfortable with you. Our relationship started almost 5 years ago, slowly you consumed my time and thoughts. I was with you at least 3 days a week. Now, I have cut most of my ties. I have a few friends on the inside still, but just to keep up with what is being said about me….childish, but whatever.

In the beginning of our relationship I felt at ease with only being part of the outer circle of the group, a once-a-week-er (no a real word, but you get my drift). Then slowly, your tentacles came reaching, begging for new warmth, new thoughts and ideas…awesome I have a ton! These tentacles, as I now know, are deceitful….new warmth is what they want, new warmth that will ride along with the old and mundane. Well, I was promised an outlet for new ideas in search of new growth, you LIED and now I’m OUT and I’m taking all those I brought with me…all my ideas, all my friends and you are going to be SCREWED.

It is now so obvious, the operator of all the tentacles, is imbedded deep within the newbies can’t see who the operator is. Well, newsflash, the operator is a guy who is so deceitful when you look into his eyes, you don’t see the love and warmth that the group oozes, you see the deep pits of horrible teenage acne for which I am sure he was relentlessly tormented and has left bitterness in his soul.

The break-up of this relationship has been long coming and the final straw on this camels back…the operator rather than being a decent human lashed out a tentacle and rather than lour in a new person, threw out a long-standing family deep from within the comforting walls of the deceitful group. Threw us out as if to say “WE are better than you, lowly unimportant beings, be gone with you.” Well that’s fine, we are gone and this side of the relationship has potential for growth and truth.

I feel sorry for the operator and all his people who are unknowingly stuck in his grasp. When they finally start to fight against the tentacles that weigh down their thoughts and compromise their moral values, it will be an ugly fight. Until then, I shall watch from afar these people I care about deep in the strangling tentacles of the operator carry on because they know no better.

YOU, “the Group” are DUMB and LAZY. WAKE UP, GET OUT, ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE FREE THINKING WONDERFUL PEOPLE AGAIN. Until then, I shall carry on. I just hope there is room for you in my life when you wake up.

~ME

Dear M,

You aren’t my ex, not really anyways. We were seeing each other in high school, but you chose her over me. And then you went off to college. We kind of kept in contact but nothing too extensive. Then you came home and I was single, actually for awhile I was not so single, but it didn’t really matter.

Now here we are a year later still playing our little game. I love our game, I want you to know that, and I love you. So why am I writing a letter to my ex when you obviously aren’t? Because I’m really scared that you’re going to be. I’m terrified that when I do finally get to call you mine I’ll fuck it up and lose you. I’m not sure if I’m willing to face the reality.

I don’t think it will be very long until you and I are actually together and that is so scary. At this point I can’t really lose you, but if we’re together I can. I do not want you to be my ex!

I have this terrible habit of getting bored and cheating on people. I am completely dedicated to not cheating on you or doing any other number of stupid things to put our relationship in jeopardy. I can’t tell you all of this because I’m afraid that you’ll think I’m crazy or just a flat out cheater.

So there you have it. Hopefully I’ll never have to write a letter to my ex about you.

Love,

Me.