Dear A,

                From the moment I met you, I was drawn to you and completely aware of you. Of course, the first awareness was something akin to hatred. You were an annoying kid who begged for attention like a pet begging for treats. I found you disgusting. Then, somehow, you wiggled your way into my group of friends. I heard that you liked me, and was a little surprised. I still hated you, but now I paid more attention to you. Then you were dating her, and I realized that I was jealous because you no longer paid attention to me. Looking back, I was just as disgusting as I thought you were.

                It was that jealousy that made me want you. Not because I actually liked you, but because you were the first guy to ever really pay attention to me. It is silly and shallow, but then I was a silly and shallow person. I treated you horribly and you treated me like a princess. I honestly never deserved you. I regret every time I broke up with you and went out with someone else and then expected you to take me back like I was the best thing to ever happen to you.

                It took me far too much time to realize that I loved you, but eventually that realization hit me. I decided that I was going to treat you like you deserved, like the best friend you had become. We had good times then. I remember playing battleship and fetch with your dog. I remember asking to drive your car and you always telling me no. Then, one day, we were sitting in a parking lot and you handed me the keys. Of course, I never actually drove. I just loved the fact that you trusted me enough to let me. Those little things made me happier than you will ever know, and I wish I had told you just how much it meant to me.

                I never really thought I deserve what happened next, but writing this letter makes me think that I probably did. You, like many other high school kids, decided to dabble in drugs. You would blow me off to hang out with other girls and get high. You would lie to me about things that didn’t really need to be lied about. I felt our relationship slipping away and it felt like a knife being slowly pushed in my gut. We broke up then, and despite efforts down the road, we never really clicked again.

                It took a long time for me to get over our relationship. Even now, I sometimes mourn the loss of my best friend. Something will happen and I will think to myself “Man, he sure would get a kick out of this.” Of course, those times are becoming more and more infrequent. It won’t be long before I never think those words again. I think that hurts more than the actual missing you.

                I suppose I only have one thing left to say. Thank you. Through the roller coaster of our love, you helped me grow. You made me happier than you ever got to know. I just hope that, at one point, I did the same for you. You were there when I cried, you made me laugh, and you showed me that young love can actually mean something. It is because of you, that I strive for that happiness I once felt.

                Thank you.

                Sincerely,
                Your Ex. 

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