Hello, this is Your Ex

Thank you for spending time on this site. I'm so excited that my little project seems to be working. We have already had 12 contributors in just a little over a month and 15 page views today alone. I hope that everyone is enjoying reading the letters.

I wanted to talk about a few things. First off, if you like Letters to My Ex, please share the link to the blog with as many people possible. Share on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, whatever. We want to get the word out about what we're doing here; everyone needs a safe place to share.

I realized that I didn't make it clear what kind of system was running the site. I am Your Ex and this is my site, I run it 99% of the time. There are 2 other site moderators that can get in to check our emails for new letters and comments.

"Letters" does not have to refer to a big, long formal letter. It can be a short email, a picture with something written on it (think PostSecret), whatever you want. We do not have policies in place about cursing, rude language, etc; I believe that it is important for you to be able to say whatever you need to.That being said, if something offends you, you are pretty much just going to have to not read that letter or possibly this site anymore. I will defend every one's right to free speech, even if that speech upsets someone.

 Thank you to everyone that has sent something in. Anything you send will be kept private. We don't save email address and we delete the original as soon as we send a reply that your letter has been posted and the link to it. Also feel free to send questions or anything really, we love hearing from you and we'll get back to you usually within an hour or two.

Have a great Memorial Day weekend.

Love,
Your Ex

Dear JAS,

You stole my heart at a very young age. You were my first boyfriend. You were my first kiss. You were my first love. We were great together at first. You helped me raise my siblings, helped me through my parents’ divorce & you were there every day just to see me. Here’s the thing though when you left my house you turned in to a monster. You were smoking a lot of pot and fooling around with God only knows how many girls. The day I finally figured it out it was far too late. I was a freshman in high school. You left my house because my grandma showed up and went and fucked her. Because I wasn’t ready to have sex with you, I was only 14. You should have known better. You should have kept it in your damn pants. Because then when my best friends boyfriend had to tell me you cheated on me with her, that was a low blow. Then yet again you lied straight to my face and said you weren’t going to that stupid dance and you showed up with her. I am glad I have the friends that I have because they were smart enough to know to make sure I stayed at my house so that I didn’t total your car because of how pissed off I was at you. They did let me punch you in the face which felt great. Then  when we did get back together you had changed for about a month, you had me wrapped around your finger again. Then you went to jail and you came crawling back. I truly hope that now after your last stay in jail you have finally pulled your head out of your ass. But I know you haven’t.  Now because of you I have to pull myself together when I see you. I try not to break down when I smell you. And when I hear your name my blood boils because of how pissed off I still am and how you still hold a big part of my heart that I cannot seem to regain no matter how hard I try.

Your Ex.

Dear C,

I don't hate you. I don't love you. I've moved beyond that years ago.

There is no eloquence I can muster for this, there is no consolidation. There is no need to be consoled. I don't even think of you anymore aside from the rare fleeting moment, and even then it's accompanied by laughter and the words: “What was I thinking when I said I was going to marry that?”

I may not care as you ex, I may not care because of what we had, but I care because I knew the man underneath beforehand. My friend. My brother.

The point of this is: Get better and stop doing stupid stuff now that I'm not around to mother you out of it. You're an adult.

I'm not doing it for you, who was my lover. I'm doing it for him, who was my brother. I hate to see old friends ruin themselves.

Let's see him try and do some good for a change.

Sincerely.

S.H.

Dear A,

I write this letter to tell you of a sadness left in my soul because of you. We met through friends as freshmen in high school. You were dating someone else, I was not. She dumped you for another and you picked me up. You and I went on 1 date...movie and a drink at Ken-Taco-Hut...such a date!

Apparently I was quite the catch because she came running and we were over. As my first “boyfriend” I was hurt. Your friendship has been such a blessing over the years, but our “relationship” was doomed because of a bitch blond you were looking to make jealous. I don't appreciate being the second choice...it sucks.

Forever your 1 date girlfriend.

R

B

Your mom calls you that. Unfortunately, that's also what m family has always called my cousin. B. I hate it, because whenever Grams calls him that, your face flashes in my mind's eye.

I tried not to have feelings for you. Lucky for you, I'm a sucker for pretty much anyone who has feelings for m. Or is a male friend. Or pays attention to me. I fall easily, which is why I built all those walls. I was tired of rejection time and time again. But you didn't reject me, did you? Not at first. You waited until you broke down those walls, made me fall in love with you.

It was more than the fight with the youth group that tore us apart, B. It was that you didn't trust me, and more, I didn't really trust you. I thought I did. I tried, but there was still so much I needed to work through my own, that I wasn't ready to have someone else along for the ride.

You were ready to plan your future with me. Ready to think about homes and places to live and places to travel and KIDS! I didn't even know who I was yet and I'm sorry I hurt you trying to find out who that was. I never wanted to hurt you. I did love you and I wanted to want that life with you, I just wasn't ready. And I didn't know how to tell you that.

I was so mad for so long that you chose your mom and...that other girl, and their conniving ways. But honestly, that's not what tore us apart. I did. And I'm sorry.

But please, please, for the love of the man that I know you can be, stop screwing around with those stupid, slutty girls. You are going to catch something. You're also going too regret this someday, because I honestly believe you're a good guy deep down inside. I'm sorry I screwed you up.

Your Ex

Dear J

I don't really even know what to say. The whole thing is rally a blur to me now. I look back over the last, what, 2? 3? years and I myself don't even understand it all, and it was my fault. K told me that I was the only one in the entire world that he would believe that I did it because I didn't want to hurt anyone. I ended up hurting everyone including myself and while I'm not sure you've forgiven me, K has forgiven me, I don't think I can every truly forgive myself, and it hurts. We've started talking again, just a little casual convo, but even now it hurts and I don't think I can do it anymore. K says I can talk to you. That it's ok. You know, he loves me. He really does. With all of his heart...and I'm so in love with him. He's my best friend. And while I know all of this really sucked? I'm sort of glad it happened. Every once in awhile, I look at K, and I think I cannot believe I'm actually with him, because at the tail end of our relationship, I really just wished I was with him instead of you. THAT, I am not sorry for. You did the best you could, but we would fight and fight and you did was take advantage of myself and my family. Seriously. You CRIED because you got job? Are you that lazy? I know you had it rough...and I tried to be supportive, but to be perfectly honest, you were dragging me down. That sounds terrible, but you were. I was trying to get a degree and you were trying to control me. I had soo many talks with K about you. He was being nice and didn't remind me too often that I should break up with you, but he was always there when you weren't. I mean really. How many times did you CHEAT ON ME? and I let you back into my life. K was SO ANGRY at you. I remember one time I walked to his house one night after I found out. I cried and cried. He wouldn't hug me because he was afraid if he did he wouldn't let me go. Then again...what I did was about ten times worse that what you did.

I will say that for the first 3 years of our relationship I was truly happy. I don't know if I could ever say that I was in love with you, because we were so young. But I want you to know that I do love you, but the caring type of love, which makes when I think about the past, hurt that much more. I'm glad you found someone, even if you do fight with her. Maybe it's your fault. I don't fight with K. We do disagree sometimes, and we have arguments, like just yesterday, but I say how I feel, and he says how he feels. So, maybe it's your fault that you end up fighting all the time. I try every day to put all of the past behind me, because I know we have all changed for the better. There are two people in this world that I have to forgive to be right with God. That is my stepfather and myself for all of that mess that happened. I want to thank you for the first 3 years of our relationship. You took care of me and were my friend when no one else was. I also have to say while I grew, it was not in a good direction. You stole some things from me, and K is just starting to help me get back to the person I want to be. I'm sorry for all of the things I did to you...I truly believe that we were not meant to be together, but I think all things happen for a reason.

Your Ex.

You Lying Cheat

You were my first real boyfriend. I thought you were cute and funny, nerdy and sweet. We liked some of the same kinds of movies, people, animals.

You didn't judge me of tell me to “get over it” when I told you all that had happened between the members of my family when my sister left. You let me cry and kick and scream when the hate and anger would boil over. You didn't get it when I talked about God or why I was so mad at him for everything I had been/was going through, but you listened anyway.

I genuinely thought you were someone that I could learn to love, even with everything I thought about the whole system of relationships. Why did I feel this way? Because you were unlike any guy I'd ever known, you liked me. You didn't think I was ugly or fat, you thought I was cute, adorable, even funny

It was only after the fact that I learned that I would learn that cute and adorable actually meant young and naive. You were three years older than me and you figured you could use my inexperience against me.

First you tried to pressure me into having sex with you. When I told you I wouldn't, because of my religious beliefs, you laughed. And then you found someplace to dip your wick. You didn't even have the decency to break up with me over the sex issue. THAT I would have understood. But no, you knew that it wold hurt me more if you went behind my back to do it.

I was fourteen years old! How dare you treat me, a child, in that manner? You were with me in the park, the day my best friend walked with me to meet you, and then you “had to be somewhere.” That somewhere was right around the corner in HER apartment. You kissed me one minute and turned around and fucked her the next. I hate you. I hate her. And all the girls after her.

You're married now, with two adorable children. But every time I think of your poor wife, I wonder if she knows you're probably out somewhere else with another woman.

Sincerely,

The Kid

P.S. Stop checking in on me. If you taught me anything it was how to take care of myself.

Dear S

It's been 30 years but your total and utter rejection of me still burns my heart. I have forgiven your actions and words as the actions or a stupid young man, but I will never forget the pain.

We dated for well over a year. I was so desperate to be with you that I didn't mind paying for most of our date. Or driving on almost all of our dates. Or even taking you to get your drivers license so you could drive my car on our dates. It was just enough to be with you, no matte the cost.

 You were my date for my Junior prom. We went with your best friend and his girlfriend. I have a beautiful photo of all of us dressed up and smiling, which was obviously taken at the very beginning of the evening. I expected a romantic night of dinner and dancing, but I got an entirely different night. You and your buddy decided to sneak booze into prom and get rip-roaring drunk. You didn't share the booze with me either. There was no dancing because you guys were out in the parking lot drinking and blowing a joint. Then, in the backseat of the car on the way home, when I offered you everything, you drunkenly told me (and I quote) "I do love you, but not like that. I don't think I ever will." I was crushed. And I had to sit next to you for the remaining 30 minutes of the drive home. Awkward does not even begin to describe it.

But still, I stayed with you for the rest of the summer, convinced I could change your mind. I returned from a 10 day vacation on the day we had tickets to Van Halen. In the car (my car of course) your buddy asked if I was OK. When I asked why, he said "About Kim." Kim? Kim who? What about her? Sheepishly, you told me that while I was gone, you had decided to date the 14 year old across the street. So we were done. Another awkward night for me. I had to hang out with you all night, knowing I was no longer necessary. And the salt in the wound? In just the first three days of "dating" Kim, you had had sex with her twice.

S, you should have been my first, but you denied me that joy. But you know what? When it finally happened, it was with a guy who really loved me and wanted me to enjoy it. So, you missed out buddy. It would have been good with me, but you'll never know that, will you? Am I bitter? No, not really. It's just something I will never forget. And a memory I will never have of you and me.

Your Ex from a long time ago